The day I was expecting for the past 3 years arrived today (actually I thought it was on 4th..but got the update that it was today..2nd of June) and everything is over, as was expected. But surprising there was something else that was going in my mind the whole day. My dead dog. Today is the death anniversary of my dog who died almost 15-16 years ago. Its not that I remember him every year on his death anniversary. But today my mind was fully occupied by the day he died. May be because it did commensurate (is this the word?) with the end of something else in my life today.
He was a simple country dog and came home when we was a few weeks old. For a family who had only enough to make their own ends meet, a dog was an additional responsibility. Except for my mom, who was apprehensive as it would mean additional work for her, everyone rejoiced and welcomed him with open arms :). I still remember the way he would eat away the socks and the shoes of my brother and the way he would run up to our first floor home when my mom is away for purchases. Dogs behave more or like humans and sometimes much better than them. They know how to behave with their owners. He would behave differently with each member of my family. Quiet and obedient with my father, playful with my brother, understanding with my sister (who was very happy that she has someone younger than her in the family), good with me ( he knows that I dont like him licking me :) and he never did that, and that I was the only one who was willing to bathe him ..the one act he hated the most...but listened to me nonetheless..) and very very quiet with my mom (she was the one who fed him)..
But almost after his 2nd or 3rd year or so, when we had to move to another rented house where they did not allow pets, we were put in a fix. We (three of us) did not want to move because we couldn't leave him. But my father was in a fix because with respect to rent, proximity to school and college, the move would be a better one. After contemplating a lot my parents decided to take the house and decided to leave our dog in a country side. I am not sure how much he understood, he started getting ill and once it was very severe. We called in vets and got medicines (he had the necessary shots on time but still). His condition deteriorated. Finally on 2nd June, when we called the vet, he said that nothing could be done and that we can try a medicine. Finally after 6 pm or so, we tried giving him the medicine with milk, as prescribed, but he was responding very feebly. Suddenly I was left alone with my dad to tend to him. My brother and my sister were too upset to witness it and so my mother was with them (if I remember correctly)... When he breathed his last, it was me who proclaimed him dead.. I still remember the eyes. I didn't cry. I couldn't. I was feeling blank. The only thing I felt was that it was his way of not leaving us forever. If we had left him on a country side, we might have missed him more.. but this... Its been more than 15 years now. We have outgrown him. That's true. But I remember how everyone cried in my home after burying him. That was the day I decided never to have a pet. I loved my dog so much that I see him in all the dogs and just cannot bear another loss.
This is what I was remembering the whole day today. May be this way of ending that happened today might make me feel good rather than any other way. But an end is an end. And again I feel blank. The only person who really responded was my mom. She became all too emotional. She is doing the role of being a mom :D and my friends did not know what to say to me ? Is congrats the right word or should they say sorry ?! May be the effect of today will dawn upon me in a day or two. I don't know. I am just so tired to think about anything now. For now, I just wanted to clear my thoughts.
He was a simple country dog and came home when we was a few weeks old. For a family who had only enough to make their own ends meet, a dog was an additional responsibility. Except for my mom, who was apprehensive as it would mean additional work for her, everyone rejoiced and welcomed him with open arms :). I still remember the way he would eat away the socks and the shoes of my brother and the way he would run up to our first floor home when my mom is away for purchases. Dogs behave more or like humans and sometimes much better than them. They know how to behave with their owners. He would behave differently with each member of my family. Quiet and obedient with my father, playful with my brother, understanding with my sister (who was very happy that she has someone younger than her in the family), good with me ( he knows that I dont like him licking me :) and he never did that, and that I was the only one who was willing to bathe him ..the one act he hated the most...but listened to me nonetheless..) and very very quiet with my mom (she was the one who fed him)..
But almost after his 2nd or 3rd year or so, when we had to move to another rented house where they did not allow pets, we were put in a fix. We (three of us) did not want to move because we couldn't leave him. But my father was in a fix because with respect to rent, proximity to school and college, the move would be a better one. After contemplating a lot my parents decided to take the house and decided to leave our dog in a country side. I am not sure how much he understood, he started getting ill and once it was very severe. We called in vets and got medicines (he had the necessary shots on time but still). His condition deteriorated. Finally on 2nd June, when we called the vet, he said that nothing could be done and that we can try a medicine. Finally after 6 pm or so, we tried giving him the medicine with milk, as prescribed, but he was responding very feebly. Suddenly I was left alone with my dad to tend to him. My brother and my sister were too upset to witness it and so my mother was with them (if I remember correctly)... When he breathed his last, it was me who proclaimed him dead.. I still remember the eyes. I didn't cry. I couldn't. I was feeling blank. The only thing I felt was that it was his way of not leaving us forever. If we had left him on a country side, we might have missed him more.. but this... Its been more than 15 years now. We have outgrown him. That's true. But I remember how everyone cried in my home after burying him. That was the day I decided never to have a pet. I loved my dog so much that I see him in all the dogs and just cannot bear another loss.
This is what I was remembering the whole day today. May be this way of ending that happened today might make me feel good rather than any other way. But an end is an end. And again I feel blank. The only person who really responded was my mom. She became all too emotional. She is doing the role of being a mom :D and my friends did not know what to say to me ? Is congrats the right word or should they say sorry ?! May be the effect of today will dawn upon me in a day or two. I don't know. I am just so tired to think about anything now. For now, I just wanted to clear my thoughts.
RIP for one and Have Peace for the other !
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