Thursday, March 17, 2011
Earthquake, Tsunami, N-Reaction - What more !!!!
What is it with Japan and Nuclear * (bombs,reactions,radiations etc.). Why is that kutty place so much prone to something related to nuclear. It has taken them all these years to get out of these effects and now again! And Earthquake and Tsunami to add more disaster to it. I cannot do anything about it from here but I sincerely wish and pray that they are able to contain the radiation leakage faster and that people in Japan have the same courage and grit to come back with a bang, just like they always do.
Monday, March 7, 2011
King's Speech - Close to Home & Heart
I wanted to watch this movie, because it dealt with something I can very much relate to. Yes, Stammering. I am not sure if this movie is a Oscar material, but definitely a good one and especially for Colin Firth, who brought in the pain and desperation of a stammering person. He was very convincing. It brought back a few memories of my past, well even of present.
Just like the Duke of York, I too dont remember when I started stammering but it realized it much more prominently during the early school days. Myself and my sister used to stammer, but mine was much worse than hers. As a balancing act, we were gifted good voice (not too good..but good enough for everyone around us to enjoy listening). The interesting part (just like in the movie) was that we never stammered when we sang. So we used to sing a lot @ home and @ school (all singing competitions and free periods and this continued till my post graduation :D). At times my teachers were puzzled on why I stammered when they wanted to me to speak but never during singing. Infact one of my principal got so frustrated (she wanted me to be part of a tamil drama.. eppadi.. suthama tamil pesave varaadhu..idhula naadagam vera...) and summoned my parents who had to explain to her my incapability. That is when I came to know that my stammering (or so in most cases..) was due to the incoordination between the brain and the tongue (brain being super fast ;) than my tongue). When you sing, you relax, your thoughts are relaxed and you *have* to coordinate your thoughts and mouth..no other way. That is why you dont stammer. Well what will a girl studying in 3rd year of school understand at that age, except to feel bad and cry when someone mocks her of her stammering. And it does have an impact you know. I have never done public speaking ever. Not even singing in a stage (which was the only thing I was good at) or speak up when there is a group of people whom I dont know. In fact, my tamil pronounciation of words is flawed. Not that its noticable.
Even now after all these years, I still dont feel comfortable when I have to speak in meetings. It just gets on my nerves and I stammer. Its pathetic. But that is how it is. Some people wonder why I never talk to people to get work done and rely on emails for communication. How will they know that , that is the only way I am comfortable speaking. I dont stammer when I am casual because you dont exercise your mind too much. When you are tensed,afraid, upset or just plain angry..anything that provides more signals to brain, causes you trouble.
There have been some embrassing incidents in my life related to this. Whenever I have to get ticket after boarding the bus to school, I always ask my sis to get it for me (I had so much trouble pronouncing the word ticket.. ) and in high school when we have to read during the tamil classes , I always kept jumping benches to avoid having to go through that trouble. Also in our school each one of us have to read a thirukural and explain the meaning during the assembly and that was my worst nightmare. I would take ages to get that done and most of the kids would be half asleep.
But I wasnt much bothered after one point of time. I realized that people will mock you for one thing or the other. Of course I am not comfortable speaking to people.. so what.. I can sing whenever I want or even whenever my friends want and I did it with all pleasure. Funnily, I was labelled as "very chamathu ponnu" among my relatives because I hardly spoke to them and would say hi and retire to my room :) Also my family did not think too much of this as there werent too many speech therapists at that time. Speech therapy was at its nascent stage. But when I finished my post graduation, people around, made my parents nervous by saying that I would be the odd-man-out in the place of my work and that my stammering might pose problems in my future employment. By that time, speech therapy was growing well (infact one of my college mate whose stammering was worse than mine, took the help of a Ph.D speech therapist from the same university and got better during his post graduation years too) and my parents were concerned and checked with me if I would like to get it done. I refused. If my employment is going to be determined on the basis of my speaking ability, I will find a way out else I will quit.. Big deal.. But funnily that was never a point of concern during my employment years (and it continues to be so till now) I find people who stammer much worse than me in my companies and just like me, they were never bothered with it. That is something very nice about this industry ( I can only speak of my industry.. it might be the same with others too..) Well, we are not the Duke of York to give public speeches where people might consider that an issue isnt ?
My stammering has reduced a lot over these years. may be with age, your mind tends to relax and gives more support to your tongue. Whatsoever, I stammer much less but stammer none the less, on very very specific situations. You know, just like in the movie, you can never get rid of it. But you can manage to work around it, to reduce its effect. That is well under your control.
You just have to keep your spirit and have the will to overcome it eventually. It will not be a day's work, but you have to work on it every day. Try to balance it with something you are able to do well. Life is all about balance.
Just like the Duke of York, I too dont remember when I started stammering but it realized it much more prominently during the early school days. Myself and my sister used to stammer, but mine was much worse than hers. As a balancing act, we were gifted good voice (not too good..but good enough for everyone around us to enjoy listening). The interesting part (just like in the movie) was that we never stammered when we sang. So we used to sing a lot @ home and @ school (all singing competitions and free periods and this continued till my post graduation :D). At times my teachers were puzzled on why I stammered when they wanted to me to speak but never during singing. Infact one of my principal got so frustrated (she wanted me to be part of a tamil drama.. eppadi.. suthama tamil pesave varaadhu..idhula naadagam vera...) and summoned my parents who had to explain to her my incapability. That is when I came to know that my stammering (or so in most cases..) was due to the incoordination between the brain and the tongue (brain being super fast ;) than my tongue). When you sing, you relax, your thoughts are relaxed and you *have* to coordinate your thoughts and mouth..no other way. That is why you dont stammer. Well what will a girl studying in 3rd year of school understand at that age, except to feel bad and cry when someone mocks her of her stammering. And it does have an impact you know. I have never done public speaking ever. Not even singing in a stage (which was the only thing I was good at) or speak up when there is a group of people whom I dont know. In fact, my tamil pronounciation of words is flawed. Not that its noticable.
Even now after all these years, I still dont feel comfortable when I have to speak in meetings. It just gets on my nerves and I stammer. Its pathetic. But that is how it is. Some people wonder why I never talk to people to get work done and rely on emails for communication. How will they know that , that is the only way I am comfortable speaking. I dont stammer when I am casual because you dont exercise your mind too much. When you are tensed,afraid, upset or just plain angry..anything that provides more signals to brain, causes you trouble.
There have been some embrassing incidents in my life related to this. Whenever I have to get ticket after boarding the bus to school, I always ask my sis to get it for me (I had so much trouble pronouncing the word ticket.. ) and in high school when we have to read during the tamil classes , I always kept jumping benches to avoid having to go through that trouble. Also in our school each one of us have to read a thirukural and explain the meaning during the assembly and that was my worst nightmare. I would take ages to get that done and most of the kids would be half asleep.
But I wasnt much bothered after one point of time. I realized that people will mock you for one thing or the other. Of course I am not comfortable speaking to people.. so what.. I can sing whenever I want or even whenever my friends want and I did it with all pleasure. Funnily, I was labelled as "very chamathu ponnu" among my relatives because I hardly spoke to them and would say hi and retire to my room :) Also my family did not think too much of this as there werent too many speech therapists at that time. Speech therapy was at its nascent stage. But when I finished my post graduation, people around, made my parents nervous by saying that I would be the odd-man-out in the place of my work and that my stammering might pose problems in my future employment. By that time, speech therapy was growing well (infact one of my college mate whose stammering was worse than mine, took the help of a Ph.D speech therapist from the same university and got better during his post graduation years too) and my parents were concerned and checked with me if I would like to get it done. I refused. If my employment is going to be determined on the basis of my speaking ability, I will find a way out else I will quit.. Big deal.. But funnily that was never a point of concern during my employment years (and it continues to be so till now) I find people who stammer much worse than me in my companies and just like me, they were never bothered with it. That is something very nice about this industry ( I can only speak of my industry.. it might be the same with others too..) Well, we are not the Duke of York to give public speeches where people might consider that an issue isnt ?
My stammering has reduced a lot over these years. may be with age, your mind tends to relax and gives more support to your tongue. Whatsoever, I stammer much less but stammer none the less, on very very specific situations. You know, just like in the movie, you can never get rid of it. But you can manage to work around it, to reduce its effect. That is well under your control.
You just have to keep your spirit and have the will to overcome it eventually. It will not be a day's work, but you have to work on it every day. Try to balance it with something you are able to do well. Life is all about balance.
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