Thali

Recently I came across this post 'where's my thali?'. I found it very nice and funny. May be because I do that at times(!!!)? Well, recently I have seen so many young (mostly working) women not wearing their Thali's, because (a) it is very heavy, (b) one need not demonstrate the fact that one is married by wearing that (c) just don't believe in it and many other reasons suiting their own needs and circumstances. When I read the part in the post where in the lady wears it when her husband is on a tour to Ceylon, a troubled place, it made me remember of my friend who was in a same situation and it really made me laugh.

Obviously, a husband's life is not tied in a Thali isn't. One should really believe the cause behind such rituals (or whatever you call this) and then follow it. Thali or for that matter anything like that (because Thali is only for South Indians) is meant to be a identification marker for a woman. There might be lot of people who might feel offended by such acts or even mention of acts, but that is the truth. I remember very well, that I was in a bit of a shock when I saw the scene in Alaipayuthey wherein Shalini searches for her Thali and Madhavan hides it somewhere and chides her for losing such a thing. Because till that time, I was really believing that a Thali is very important for the long living of one's husband. It took me some years to really realize the real meaning of it.

We also see that people don't wear a bindi or Thali when they go abroad, because they become the odd man out there and for the fear of being stolen. My mom used to chide me for wearing a black bindi because it is supposed to be inauspicious. I totally believe that certain colors have certain effects on one's mental and physical health but a small bindi wouldn't dampen my mental spirit or my physical health. Wouldn't it?

No doubt it is a sacred thing and a lot of prayers and blessings of so many people go in making it and the sacred ceremony that happens when it is being tied.. well all that is true. But let us be realistic, it is just another ornament for a woman. One old woman did boast to me about her 64gm Thali and how it was made by their parents at their times.

I know of a woman who has a kid of 8 yrs who doesn't wear Thali or for that matter any ornament. I asked her why and she just said that she follows her mother in law. Well that is saying something. I also know of a person whose husband doesn't bother that his wife is not wearing her Thali at all. How many of them do that nowadays?

Well all said and done, let us not be too unrealistic as to ignore the traditional values that go behind it and not be too realistic about not wearing it at all unless and otherwise you have a genuine reason. At the end of the day, it is each one's choice that should be respected.