Discreet:
This one is hell of work... Especially when you know what is going on and you cannot just talk about it yet, because of various reason (may be its not your business or you are just being polite or you aren't sure about it.. many such reasons) and yet you want to hint the other person that you might know but you are holding their fort for whatever reason you seem fit at that time.... I really really appreciate people who can do that.. There are lot of people who are so curious (I call them curiosity kuriakose's , just for the rhyming.. no offense to any Kuriakose please) that they just don't know how to be discreet, at least about a few sensitive things.
I should take this chance here and give a Big Thanks for my friends (some of them who read this blog from time to time) for being so discreet in their communication to me over the years when I needed them the most. I knew that they knew about my problem, but when they felt that I wasn't ready, they resorted to being discreet, but were there to give me a sense of support and compassion. That is very much valued and I owe them big time.... For some its their nature to be like that.. but I know for others, it was a lot of work. At times the talks (casual ones) would lead to my situation and they would be ready to blurt out some thing related to that..and I have seen them eat their words at the last minute, thinking the better of it..and end it up with some casual common comment (which were very appropriate to the situation). I am really very thankful for that act and it was by no means a small one for me. Thank you all again.
I only wish that I have that much sense to show the same discreetness.
Possessive:
This one I know it by experience, both the pain and vain of it. When someone is very possessive of you and don't want to let you out of their sight (in hazaar and one ways..), the general idea that gets to us is, that someone doesn't trust you. I somehow have started to realize that possessiveness is not much related to the trust a person has on you or not. Its about how much they need you.. Need you to be part of their life, need you to ascertain themselves that they belong to someone (sense of belonging to someone or somewhere is one of the reasons for our evolution I think..otherwise there wouldn't be boundaries.. or even families..) , need you to believe they mean something to themselves or capable of someone. It also is a way of exercising the superiority complex or the control, one is used to. And this is done to the people they love the most.. because losing them hurts the most.. Possessiveness when done is proper measures can be acceptable..because it at times shows that you care.. And that gives the person who is taken care of, a sense of love and affection and even a relief that there is always somehow to hold on. But in most cases, the act of restraint is always lost. And the limit is very relative to every single person. There is no such thing a hard defined limit in this case. This is not only with respect to humans but also extends to materialistic things..
This one is very difficult to handle...and requires lot of time and work and very importantly self realization...For someone like me, who is not possessive by any single measure on anyone or anything, I have had my share of pain from being possessed. And I am done with that.. I see one single sign of it and you will see me running in the other direction as fast as my leg can take me ;) (vadivelu style-la sollanumnaa..eppadi oadarennu mattum paaru nee.. eppadi oadarenu...)
There are other 'being...' I would like to write..but suddenly my flow stopped here.. Will update it more later..
Ciao.
This one is hell of work... Especially when you know what is going on and you cannot just talk about it yet, because of various reason (may be its not your business or you are just being polite or you aren't sure about it.. many such reasons) and yet you want to hint the other person that you might know but you are holding their fort for whatever reason you seem fit at that time.... I really really appreciate people who can do that.. There are lot of people who are so curious (I call them curiosity kuriakose's , just for the rhyming.. no offense to any Kuriakose please) that they just don't know how to be discreet, at least about a few sensitive things.
I should take this chance here and give a Big Thanks for my friends (some of them who read this blog from time to time) for being so discreet in their communication to me over the years when I needed them the most. I knew that they knew about my problem, but when they felt that I wasn't ready, they resorted to being discreet, but were there to give me a sense of support and compassion. That is very much valued and I owe them big time.... For some its their nature to be like that.. but I know for others, it was a lot of work. At times the talks (casual ones) would lead to my situation and they would be ready to blurt out some thing related to that..and I have seen them eat their words at the last minute, thinking the better of it..and end it up with some casual common comment (which were very appropriate to the situation). I am really very thankful for that act and it was by no means a small one for me. Thank you all again.
I only wish that I have that much sense to show the same discreetness.
Possessive:
This one I know it by experience, both the pain and vain of it. When someone is very possessive of you and don't want to let you out of their sight (in hazaar and one ways..), the general idea that gets to us is, that someone doesn't trust you. I somehow have started to realize that possessiveness is not much related to the trust a person has on you or not. Its about how much they need you.. Need you to be part of their life, need you to ascertain themselves that they belong to someone (sense of belonging to someone or somewhere is one of the reasons for our evolution I think..otherwise there wouldn't be boundaries.. or even families..) , need you to believe they mean something to themselves or capable of someone. It also is a way of exercising the superiority complex or the control, one is used to. And this is done to the people they love the most.. because losing them hurts the most.. Possessiveness when done is proper measures can be acceptable..because it at times shows that you care.. And that gives the person who is taken care of, a sense of love and affection and even a relief that there is always somehow to hold on. But in most cases, the act of restraint is always lost. And the limit is very relative to every single person. There is no such thing a hard defined limit in this case. This is not only with respect to humans but also extends to materialistic things..
This one is very difficult to handle...and requires lot of time and work and very importantly self realization...For someone like me, who is not possessive by any single measure on anyone or anything, I have had my share of pain from being possessed. And I am done with that.. I see one single sign of it and you will see me running in the other direction as fast as my leg can take me ;) (vadivelu style-la sollanumnaa..eppadi oadarennu mattum paaru nee.. eppadi oadarenu...)
There are other 'being...' I would like to write..but suddenly my flow stopped here.. Will update it more later..
Ciao.
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