There was this post where I was worried that I will not be able to express my pent up frustration and anger on some one. But I had a very strong feeling that there will be a time for me but I never knew that even if I want to let it go, the other person would come asking for it and help me out (idhuku peru dhaan valiya vandhu aapu adichukaradho?).
Since last Friday night, I was feeling very weird. I wasn't able to place it correctly. It was as if I would go really mad and for some damn reason I was getting very angry on this person. May be because this person was repeatedly troubling me for the whole week. But since Friday, there was an unrest within me.
Don't know why, on Saturday, I just felt like getting away to some place and hide myself in a small cave and not come out for a day or two.. The feeling was just terrible. I was worried if something wrong is going to happen to my family members.. I have had this feeling before and it never isn't a good sign.
I tried to keep my calm as usual and went on with my work. I also tried my level best to cheer myself up on Saturday, by watching OKOK (oru kal oru kannadi) movie with my friends and their families. kodumai kodumainu koviluku poanaa anga rendu kodumai jingu jingunu aadichaam.. andha kanakaa.. indha movie seriyaana kodumai.. light aa irukumnu poanaa.... ada poangappa..
Sunday morning, this person again crossed my path to the extent that I had to complain to my association and asked them to intervene and resolve it sooner as my family members (bro's family & sis' family) were due to arrive on Sunday afternoon for a week's vacation (for them). But since this person was unreachable in the morning, I left the issue as is and went on with my work. Sometimes my intuitions never go wrong. So I try to be prepared in case I sense something wrong. But if things have to go wrong.. well what can we do.
I went to the railway station and was waiting for their train to arrive. I was there an hour early (ennoda driving la ennaku avalavu nambikai... am not a bad driver, but just a little precaution as kids are also coming and I didnt want them to wait because of me). I was waiting for the Brindavan express to leave the platform and once it left, there was enough space for me to relax. Suddenly from somewhere, this short guy came and sat beside me. He was dressed in sort-of-rags. No luggage, nothing. There was a elderly couple sitting on the other side of the bench. This guy sat in between and looked @ me and then after some effort, took out a shaving razor.. He had nothing else with him, except a pen and a razor... I had my phone in my hand as I was getting calls from my family members regularly about their whereabouts. indha aalu.. enna paakaraan, en phonea paakaraan. enna paakaraan en bag paakaraan. apparam andha razor evlo sharpaa irukunu paakaraan... He was short and thin.. If I had to catch him I can easily hold his neck by my hand.. I was like.. "irudee.. nee mattum edhavadhu try pannu unnaku innaiku iruku.. already sema kadupula irukean.." He then turned around and was checking something. I wasn't sure what to do.. So, for any emergencies, I kept my water bottle open.. If he tries something, atleast I can create a diversion by throwing water in his face la (edho movieku screeplay ezhudharadhaa ennaku nenappu... I was thinking of all possible ways to prevent his attack, if he had ever planned one) This happened for almost 10 mins.. And suddenly my phone rang and my brother had called up to tell that the train is entering the platform. That was when I decided to leave that place and go to the coach to receive them.
I wasnt sure what his intentions where or if he just happened to do the wrong thing in the wrong place. But one thing I realized was that I wasnt afraid. That was something new. Everytime when something remotely like this happens, I used to be scared, but not show it. But this time, I wasnt afraid a bit. When I told this to my parents, they, as usual, scolded me for sitting there that long.. and their usual pulambals.. But may be I was expecting something to happen so that I can have an excuse for my bad feeling that I had been having for the past few days. But no, that was not the incident.
When we reached home, this association person came to resolve the issue with this person.. I instantly knew that it was bad.. very bad.. It would have been just another day if this person knew the limits and refrained from using foul language. For some reason, as soon as this person saw my brother, sparks (!!!) flew , so did the foul words.. I don't know how one can use foul words on others and expect them not to return them. Even though my brother is younger to me, he always behaves like an elder one. His protective instincts are too high. I never knew that my brother knew so much foul words. If it was just words, it would have been different. But as soon as this person heard my brother use foul words equal to what he used, he used physical violence. Well that was the end of the words. Next came blows and then came family members from my home to prevent each other.. God.. just one word and a few secs, things went out of hand. So did my patience. I knew that this was what I had feared. Once this person was done getting enough blows from my brother (this person should really have thought twice before raising hand on my brother..) attention turned towards me and that was when I knew that I got my chance of redemption. Little did this person expect me to raise my voice like the way I did on Sunday. I saw this person cowering when I met eye to eye and questioned all that were there with me all these four years....What a relief it was... This was totally unwarranted and was not initiated by me or my side. But when things have to fall in place, well, it will. No one can stop that. None of them there had witnessed my anger till now (not even my brother in law or sister in law) but that day they saw a different person out there. I knew I was out of my control but if I am proud of one small thing, it was that in all the uncontrolled events that took place, I controlled myself from using foul words. That is something I do not believe in. It is not that I have never felt the need to use it. But I just do not want use it.. My anger left this person speechless. I was angry because I had tried to prevent this. I tried all civilized ways of handling this issue. But this person believed that since I was trying to avoid any confrontation, I was afraid of this person. Little did this person realize that what I did was for his own good.
Once the whole episode got over, it was time for another visit to the hospital. First time ever in my life, my blood pressure shot up and remained high for almost 5 hrs later. Well, it is a sign that I am still human and not a stone :D. Its almost close to a week now since the incident happened. But now when I look back @ it, I am happy that it happened and that things were settled in one aspect and sad that it had to happen during my family's visit.
I knew that my family members were both mentally strong (they have to be, because they have to handle me...) but this incident was a proof that they are also physically strong :D.
I will always love you guys :D
Since last Friday night, I was feeling very weird. I wasn't able to place it correctly. It was as if I would go really mad and for some damn reason I was getting very angry on this person. May be because this person was repeatedly troubling me for the whole week. But since Friday, there was an unrest within me.
Don't know why, on Saturday, I just felt like getting away to some place and hide myself in a small cave and not come out for a day or two.. The feeling was just terrible. I was worried if something wrong is going to happen to my family members.. I have had this feeling before and it never isn't a good sign.
I tried to keep my calm as usual and went on with my work. I also tried my level best to cheer myself up on Saturday, by watching OKOK (oru kal oru kannadi) movie with my friends and their families. kodumai kodumainu koviluku poanaa anga rendu kodumai jingu jingunu aadichaam.. andha kanakaa.. indha movie seriyaana kodumai.. light aa irukumnu poanaa.... ada poangappa..
Sunday morning, this person again crossed my path to the extent that I had to complain to my association and asked them to intervene and resolve it sooner as my family members (bro's family & sis' family) were due to arrive on Sunday afternoon for a week's vacation (for them). But since this person was unreachable in the morning, I left the issue as is and went on with my work. Sometimes my intuitions never go wrong. So I try to be prepared in case I sense something wrong. But if things have to go wrong.. well what can we do.
I went to the railway station and was waiting for their train to arrive. I was there an hour early (ennoda driving la ennaku avalavu nambikai... am not a bad driver, but just a little precaution as kids are also coming and I didnt want them to wait because of me). I was waiting for the Brindavan express to leave the platform and once it left, there was enough space for me to relax. Suddenly from somewhere, this short guy came and sat beside me. He was dressed in sort-of-rags. No luggage, nothing. There was a elderly couple sitting on the other side of the bench. This guy sat in between and looked @ me and then after some effort, took out a shaving razor.. He had nothing else with him, except a pen and a razor... I had my phone in my hand as I was getting calls from my family members regularly about their whereabouts. indha aalu.. enna paakaraan, en phonea paakaraan. enna paakaraan en bag paakaraan. apparam andha razor evlo sharpaa irukunu paakaraan... He was short and thin.. If I had to catch him I can easily hold his neck by my hand.. I was like.. "irudee.. nee mattum edhavadhu try pannu unnaku innaiku iruku.. already sema kadupula irukean.." He then turned around and was checking something. I wasn't sure what to do.. So, for any emergencies, I kept my water bottle open.. If he tries something, atleast I can create a diversion by throwing water in his face la (edho movieku screeplay ezhudharadhaa ennaku nenappu... I was thinking of all possible ways to prevent his attack, if he had ever planned one) This happened for almost 10 mins.. And suddenly my phone rang and my brother had called up to tell that the train is entering the platform. That was when I decided to leave that place and go to the coach to receive them.
I wasnt sure what his intentions where or if he just happened to do the wrong thing in the wrong place. But one thing I realized was that I wasnt afraid. That was something new. Everytime when something remotely like this happens, I used to be scared, but not show it. But this time, I wasnt afraid a bit. When I told this to my parents, they, as usual, scolded me for sitting there that long.. and their usual pulambals.. But may be I was expecting something to happen so that I can have an excuse for my bad feeling that I had been having for the past few days. But no, that was not the incident.
When we reached home, this association person came to resolve the issue with this person.. I instantly knew that it was bad.. very bad.. It would have been just another day if this person knew the limits and refrained from using foul language. For some reason, as soon as this person saw my brother, sparks (!!!) flew , so did the foul words.. I don't know how one can use foul words on others and expect them not to return them. Even though my brother is younger to me, he always behaves like an elder one. His protective instincts are too high. I never knew that my brother knew so much foul words. If it was just words, it would have been different. But as soon as this person heard my brother use foul words equal to what he used, he used physical violence. Well that was the end of the words. Next came blows and then came family members from my home to prevent each other.. God.. just one word and a few secs, things went out of hand. So did my patience. I knew that this was what I had feared. Once this person was done getting enough blows from my brother (this person should really have thought twice before raising hand on my brother..) attention turned towards me and that was when I knew that I got my chance of redemption. Little did this person expect me to raise my voice like the way I did on Sunday. I saw this person cowering when I met eye to eye and questioned all that were there with me all these four years....What a relief it was... This was totally unwarranted and was not initiated by me or my side. But when things have to fall in place, well, it will. No one can stop that. None of them there had witnessed my anger till now (not even my brother in law or sister in law) but that day they saw a different person out there. I knew I was out of my control but if I am proud of one small thing, it was that in all the uncontrolled events that took place, I controlled myself from using foul words. That is something I do not believe in. It is not that I have never felt the need to use it. But I just do not want use it.. My anger left this person speechless. I was angry because I had tried to prevent this. I tried all civilized ways of handling this issue. But this person believed that since I was trying to avoid any confrontation, I was afraid of this person. Little did this person realize that what I did was for his own good.
Once the whole episode got over, it was time for another visit to the hospital. First time ever in my life, my blood pressure shot up and remained high for almost 5 hrs later. Well, it is a sign that I am still human and not a stone :D. Its almost close to a week now since the incident happened. But now when I look back @ it, I am happy that it happened and that things were settled in one aspect and sad that it had to happen during my family's visit.
I knew that my family members were both mentally strong (they have to be, because they have to handle me...) but this incident was a proof that they are also physically strong :D.
I will always love you guys :D
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