Good & Bad

Today in office during one of our vetti talks ;) the topic of good and bad came in. Doesn't it come in almost all our talks (this is good, this is bad, what he/she did is good/bad blah, blah....) I have had this belief about good and bad (and a simple example of mine) with me for long and I had the pleasure of presenting it to those poor souls (my friends) who had no other option other than to listen to me (irrespective of whether they were convinced or they agree with me or not).

According to me, Good or Bad is not a definitive thing at all. It is a non-absolute term. Its meaning or value changes with place, time and people. What was considered once bad can be considered good in a later point of time or even in a different place or with a different set of people. (This is the example I gave today to my friends and I am repeating the same here...)

Drinking ... is this good or bad ....

Before going to the example... What is Bad ? Anything/anyone which/who causes harm/discomfort to any other being (nature, animal, or at the least human) is bad. Period.

OK, now to the example.
Too much drinking is harmful to one's health and hence it is considered bad.
So does that mean if one has a peg or two and if it is taken in a proportion where it doesnt harm one's health, is that termed as good ?
Well it is definitely not termed as bad. I say so, because you might not know the long term effect of it yet. So I would go so far to say it is good. But yes it doesn't do a major harm at least in the short term AFAIK.
OK, so now a person who is not bothered about his health, has too much drinks and he abuses his wife or he/she drinks & drives and harms people while driving (too many incidents like this, is happening now) : In this case, yes Drinking is BAD....VERY BAD....
Next, cut to cold countries, like northern Russia, or any other country for that fact, where the winter is too cold to handle and in order to keep up the body heat and body parts functioning properly some external heat generator like Alcohol is required (isnt there anything else other than Alcohol.. I am not sure... Personally, I would prefer a hot cuppa of chai...) : In this case, it becomes a necessity... and due to the necessity it isn't termed BAD...
What about Social Drinking... As far as it is under control .. well fine, then. I think ( I say I think here , because the next sentence is based on what I have heard and not experienced) that even cops fine only those drink and drive people who have crossed the alcohol limit of XYZ. So they have a limit there isn't?

OK, having said all that, is drinking good or bad ? Well it depends on the Place , Effects and Quantity :)

Let us say a Person X does harm to Person Y but is very considerate and is very nice to Person Z. So is Person X good or bad ? Well Person X is good to Z but bad to Y. Here Good & Bad is relative to People. But again that depends upon what kind of harm this person has done to Y. If it is something that Person X can at any point of time repeat the same to Person Z then Person X is not too good to Person Z.

So this is how the story of Good and Bad goes on :)
I believe that in this world, everything is relative to something. Nothing stands alone.....

Now, let us say that someone did something bad to us and we know that it is good to forgive.... so what should we do ? To Err is human, Forgiving is Divine blah blah blah... Again, for me, at least, it depends on the intensity of the bad thing. But ultimately, I might not forget what happened and might have that lesson with me forever. But I may forgive, only for one selfish reason and that is , I don't want to carry the burden of hatred that comes out of having a grudge on the person who did wrong to me. By forgiving, I may let go of that grudge and go ahead with my life (I can do that with the grudge too..but will be carrying a baggage with me always isn't)

Have I done that or is that just one of my rants ? Yes and I have already written it on one of my posts. It is definitely not easy to forgive. But if we do, it feels nice. I have quite a few people to whom I need to ask for forgiveness and a few of them whom I need to forgive. The time for both hasn't come yet and I am carrying the baggage with me still.

Hope I find time to unburden myself soon enough.

Here are a few quotes and stories.
An ancient Chinese story tells of a farmer who owns a famous racehorse. One day, the horse ran away. His friends commiserated with him, but the farmer replied, “This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.” Soon, his horse returned and brought another fine-looking horse. His friends congratulated him, but the farmer observed, “This isn’t necessarily a good thing.” Later, the farmer’s son is thrown while trying to tame the new horse. He broke his leg, which left him lame. The farmer’s friends offered condolences, but he responded, “This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.” Sure enough, war broke out and the son’s lameness prevented him from being conscripted. Though many neighbors’ sons were killed in the fighting, the farmer’s son was spared. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s good and what’s bad.

Bob Seidensticker


"You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."

Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve

Ciao
Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself. ~Harriet Nelson