Recently one of my colleague asked my experience in this field.. and was surprised that I completed almost 13 years in this industry.... in 3 companies.. I guess he was expecting me to say 9-10 coz that is almost the number of years in the current company.. no one expected me to have worked anywhere else.. He then asked me one question.. what made you stick here for so long ? I think I have answered this question so many times especially to people who want to keep growing in their levels and they find it difficult to do it here because of the size of the company and the obvious politics involved. You cannot escape politics anywhere.. in any industry.. another friend of mine who had left to another big company almost 2 years ago, was complaining yesterday about the kind of politics people play in such big organizations. He was surprised that I am still in the same position and that I haven't become a manger yet :)
My need is limited and my expectations very less. I am happy to be here doing what I am doing. What am I doing ? Probably the same that I have been doing all these years. There is specifically no difference in the way I code or design since my first project in my first organization. I did some good work technically for 2 years in between and it was damn exciting.. I practically worked 10 hrs for a very meager salary. But I really loved what I did.. This industry is not what I wanted for myself. But I have fared myself well enough. I do slog nowadays as and when my experience grows here..but that also comes with some compensations, not necessarily monetary. Its in the form of the comfort zone that I am now in, where no one questions me when I am off for a day or two or I am not available for a few hours in a day or even work from home for almost half of the year.. or rather take a vacation. They know that I keep my side of the bargain - To complete the given work on the given time to the maximum level possible. Its always a give and take policy that works well. When I feel that they are taking me for granted, I hit the break, at times even without them knowing it.
Its also in the form of friends that I have earned in this company (in other two, I was hardly visible to anyone.. I kept it that way..) I am slow with people...so it does take time for me to be a 'friend' to someone.. Acquaintances - many.. but friends - less but good ones.. (I read somewhere that there is nothing like a bad friend ..may be its right..)
In the form of good relationship with the team I work.. I have had my share of miscommunications, and some times some hard feelings too.. but that is all part of this game isn't. Cannot satisfy one and all. But overall the working equation has been balanced well.
I did not expect in my life to earn so much or to be in this industry even. When I had completed two years, I thought of quitting it, but things changed and I had to stick with it. And then slowly other dependencies came up and loans .. The industry did not ask me to get a loan for whatever I got, but the money that comes this way obviously will lead to these commitments. One led to another and I am still here.. Now I have more commitments in terms of money and need this job for another year atleast.
This has never been my career.. it was always a job for me.. a job I do justice to , as I do to any other job or work I get involved. I cannot think myself without work even for a day.. I would go mad.. I am at times super hyper active and that shows up in my work tiring me down at times.. Age and lethargy is kicking in nowadays, otherwise I could do a lot more..I know my shortcomings as well as my positives..and these positives are why this company has kept me all these years even though I am not a great developer or a designer in technical terms... My laziness and my need for some money is what is keeping me here till now. People say that I could switch and get a good salary.. I need money... not a lot.. just enough to save for the near future and to handle my current necessities.. If the job was ever for money I would have left this company much earlier.. may be within 2 years of being here.. I wanted to relax.. I wanted to cool...and this became a perfect place.. and I give my sincere efforts to the projects I am allotted too. That is all.
I still remember the day when I had gone to my HOD to get an attestation for the UGC NET exam right after my post graduation.. He was surprised that I wanted to try my hands in teaching.. He even offered me an option.. (I was already campus recruited) Stay back and do M Phil under my supervision and take some stipend (say 2k if I remember correctly) and once that is done, he would pull me in, in the same university. I replied only one line "I need some industry experience before I can teach someone.. " He looked at me and then said.. you can decide and let me know.. even though he knew I wasnt coming back. That is how I felt about my teachers. If they had had some real life experience on what they were teaching, they might have done some justice.. it was either way above our heads or way too below. There were no real life examples or applications of what we studied..
Thinking of that day brings me an urge to finish what I have at hand now and try my hands again at that.. I have been talking to HOD's through some acquaintances and things are so different now.. They need a Ph.D which I am not capable of.. I am not that creative or smart... I love teaching.. that is all that drives me. They discourage me saying that the pay will be very bad and that it will not be half of what I earn.. I don't know why it always has to be about money.. Agreed that money is important.. but that is not the only thing required.. is it? How many people have lost their jobs in a day..what do they do ? Dont they survive.. Where there is a will there is a way.. But with this age, will I be able to do the same justice to teaching as I would have done say 5 years ago ? Even technically things have advanced so much, will I be able to cope up and handle that pressure ? I don't know. I don't know even if I will land myself in a teaching position going forward.. But that is what I would like to do if I leave this industry. I dont know anything else.
So , what am I doing here still ? enjoying my stay, as always, doing the work allotted by someone.. (I ain't creative or interested enough to do anything else here..but sincere enough to do what is given to me ), enjoy my travels (which started recently.. who thought that I will travel to a place called Guadalajara in this big world..) and earning some money along with it..
What will I do next? I have the least idea about it... I am not left with too many options in life at this juncture.. but I know I will fare well in whatever I do and where ever I go. Even if something I wanted doesnt come my way, I know that whatever comes my way will be better than what I had wanted and may be , who knows, it might lead me to the things I 'really' wanted.. Life is always a mystery.. and journey is amazing..
I know that suddenly I became too preachy or sentimental.... I blame it on the rain today :) .
My need is limited and my expectations very less. I am happy to be here doing what I am doing. What am I doing ? Probably the same that I have been doing all these years. There is specifically no difference in the way I code or design since my first project in my first organization. I did some good work technically for 2 years in between and it was damn exciting.. I practically worked 10 hrs for a very meager salary. But I really loved what I did.. This industry is not what I wanted for myself. But I have fared myself well enough. I do slog nowadays as and when my experience grows here..but that also comes with some compensations, not necessarily monetary. Its in the form of the comfort zone that I am now in, where no one questions me when I am off for a day or two or I am not available for a few hours in a day or even work from home for almost half of the year.. or rather take a vacation. They know that I keep my side of the bargain - To complete the given work on the given time to the maximum level possible. Its always a give and take policy that works well. When I feel that they are taking me for granted, I hit the break, at times even without them knowing it.
Its also in the form of friends that I have earned in this company (in other two, I was hardly visible to anyone.. I kept it that way..) I am slow with people...so it does take time for me to be a 'friend' to someone.. Acquaintances - many.. but friends - less but good ones.. (I read somewhere that there is nothing like a bad friend ..may be its right..)
In the form of good relationship with the team I work.. I have had my share of miscommunications, and some times some hard feelings too.. but that is all part of this game isn't. Cannot satisfy one and all. But overall the working equation has been balanced well.
I did not expect in my life to earn so much or to be in this industry even. When I had completed two years, I thought of quitting it, but things changed and I had to stick with it. And then slowly other dependencies came up and loans .. The industry did not ask me to get a loan for whatever I got, but the money that comes this way obviously will lead to these commitments. One led to another and I am still here.. Now I have more commitments in terms of money and need this job for another year atleast.
This has never been my career.. it was always a job for me.. a job I do justice to , as I do to any other job or work I get involved. I cannot think myself without work even for a day.. I would go mad.. I am at times super hyper active and that shows up in my work tiring me down at times.. Age and lethargy is kicking in nowadays, otherwise I could do a lot more..I know my shortcomings as well as my positives..and these positives are why this company has kept me all these years even though I am not a great developer or a designer in technical terms... My laziness and my need for some money is what is keeping me here till now. People say that I could switch and get a good salary.. I need money... not a lot.. just enough to save for the near future and to handle my current necessities.. If the job was ever for money I would have left this company much earlier.. may be within 2 years of being here.. I wanted to relax.. I wanted to cool...and this became a perfect place.. and I give my sincere efforts to the projects I am allotted too. That is all.
I still remember the day when I had gone to my HOD to get an attestation for the UGC NET exam right after my post graduation.. He was surprised that I wanted to try my hands in teaching.. He even offered me an option.. (I was already campus recruited) Stay back and do M Phil under my supervision and take some stipend (say 2k if I remember correctly) and once that is done, he would pull me in, in the same university. I replied only one line "I need some industry experience before I can teach someone.. " He looked at me and then said.. you can decide and let me know.. even though he knew I wasnt coming back. That is how I felt about my teachers. If they had had some real life experience on what they were teaching, they might have done some justice.. it was either way above our heads or way too below. There were no real life examples or applications of what we studied..
Thinking of that day brings me an urge to finish what I have at hand now and try my hands again at that.. I have been talking to HOD's through some acquaintances and things are so different now.. They need a Ph.D which I am not capable of.. I am not that creative or smart... I love teaching.. that is all that drives me. They discourage me saying that the pay will be very bad and that it will not be half of what I earn.. I don't know why it always has to be about money.. Agreed that money is important.. but that is not the only thing required.. is it? How many people have lost their jobs in a day..what do they do ? Dont they survive.. Where there is a will there is a way.. But with this age, will I be able to do the same justice to teaching as I would have done say 5 years ago ? Even technically things have advanced so much, will I be able to cope up and handle that pressure ? I don't know. I don't know even if I will land myself in a teaching position going forward.. But that is what I would like to do if I leave this industry. I dont know anything else.
So , what am I doing here still ? enjoying my stay, as always, doing the work allotted by someone.. (I ain't creative or interested enough to do anything else here..but sincere enough to do what is given to me ), enjoy my travels (which started recently.. who thought that I will travel to a place called Guadalajara in this big world..) and earning some money along with it..
What will I do next? I have the least idea about it... I am not left with too many options in life at this juncture.. but I know I will fare well in whatever I do and where ever I go. Even if something I wanted doesnt come my way, I know that whatever comes my way will be better than what I had wanted and may be , who knows, it might lead me to the things I 'really' wanted.. Life is always a mystery.. and journey is amazing..
I know that suddenly I became too preachy or sentimental.... I blame it on the rain today :) .
